The Ultimate Crazy Anime Descriptions?! Japan Power at the MAX

Last time we looked at some pretty crazy anime. But I think this list holds the craziest of the crazies. Make sure you stay till the end.

Gungrave

Brandon Heat returns from the grave to defeat Millennion, a mafia organization with hordes of undead enforcers. Packing his handguns and a coffin full of heavy weapons, Heat won’t stop until Millennion’s leader, his former best friend, is destroyed.

I chose this one because it sounds kind of awesome. It sounds SUPER cliched(I mean of course the bad guy used to be his best friend) but it sounds like it could be dumb fun too. I mean come on the dude’s name is Brandon Heat. That’s just bad ass.

It was disturbingly hard to find a safe for work picture with safe search ON

Queen’s Blade: The Exiled Virgin

Based on the Queen’s Blade series of visual combat books, this action-packed anime series centers on the ferocious — and often bloody — tournament of women warriors held once every four years to determine who will become queen of the land. High-born Reina enters the contest despite her inexperience and is aided by veteran fighter Listy. They fend off dangerous beasts and treacherous opponents to reach their goal.

I love that these are based on “visual combat books”. What does that even mean? I imagine they teach people how to fight in revealing armor that hugs your…curves very tightly. The reviews assure me that pretty much the only reason to watch this is to see busty anime women fight, and occasionally lose their armor(if it can be called that) in the process. Apparently good animation too, they payed attention.

Speed Grapher

Former war photographer Saiga is working in Tokyo as a spy for the rich and powerful Hibara Ginza. After he’s unexpectedly captured, he meets a beautiful girl whose powers unlock a secret within himself: whatever he takes a picture of explodes. Intended for mature audiences, this futuristic anime explores a seamy underworld of sexual depravity, corruption and violence.

That description could have ended with explodes, but it keeps going letting me know that it’s even weirder. Notably that there is sexual depravity, but I have to know, is it the main character who is deprived! Guess I’ll just have to watch this show… Seriously though, this is the craziest damn thing I’ve ever heard. That’s not a plot description, it’s just DUDE TAKES PICTURES, THEN STUFF EXPLODES. But whatever if got my attention.

Also we can do this. Just follow along:

Former clown Popo finds a secret power within himself. Whoever squeezes his clown nose explodes.

Former blogger Timothy finds a secret power within himself. Whatever he blogs about explodes. 

Vandread

Stranded aboard a vessel with an all-female pirate crew, worker drone Hibiki and two of his buddies must prove their worth to their captors as they sail the galaxy in their eccentric hybrid ship, battling sinister mecha and other foes.

I bring this one up solely because the description doesn’t say that the ship changes into a mecha(which is why I assume it’s hybrid). Which is why I like to believe that their ship is just a hybrid electric/gas space ship, and that they felt that they needed that detail in the description. Anime hippies ya’ll. Just imagine that for a moment.

Birdy the Mighty: Decode

Pinup girl by day, intergalactic federation agent by night, Birdy investigates extraterrestrial plots, tracks down space criminals and brings them to justice. Meanwhile, she hosts the mind of Tsutomu in her body after saving his life.

Your classic, blank by day, crazy thing by night formula I gotcha. Wait so there’s two people in her body…oh I gotcha! You dirty anime people.

Master of Martial Hearts

This series of animated shorts follows Aya, a schoolgirl who stumbles into an underground martial arts tournament and aims to win the contest’s ultimate prize. If she emerges victorious among her competitors, she’ll walk away with the Platonic Heart.

This is the perfect example of how not to write a description. This one caught my eye just cause the title is pretty clever. But, and I saw this over and over again while reading these descriptions, we without having seen the show have no idea what the crap a Platonic Heart is(or whatever weird term the anime’s description uses). So we therefor have no reason to give a shit. Also I feel I have to watch this because the top review starts as so, “This is THE MOST RIDICULOUS anime I have ever seen…”

Hetalia: Axis Powers

Personifying as children the nations of Germany, Japan, America, England and other Axis and Allied countries in World War II, this anime series follows the lads as they get into sticky situations that recall world events of the early 20th century.

Did you read that? This is somehow the craziest one yet, because it’s not just normal people doing crazy anime stuff with wacky eyes and stuff…its the countries of WWII as another description puts it, “super-cute boys”. HOW does anyone come up with that concept! Like how is this something that anyone would agree to animating. So is Germany just this racist dick of a kid? I really am tempted to see this, just to know… And there’s TWO seasons!

I got one.

Personified as schoolgirls Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony, and Apple(as the new kid) must learn how to get together as they get into wacky situations.

Ok, enough making fun of anime. Again if you have any recommendations for me or anyone else, I would love to watch a good anime. Also if you want to join the fun of making your own anime descriptions please share them in the comments.

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About Devin

Devin, the mastermind behind most things on here on the website has almost no free time! He spends what little time he isn’t studying, recording podcasts, editing videos or writing articles for this site, on watching TV, playing video games, reading books and being a general nerd. Devin loves table-top roleplaying games, non-laugh track comedies, dark fantasy, science fiction, roleplaying, and puzzle video games, and really anything else you see on wegetgeek.com.

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